DETOX
We are on day 6 of The Purity Call. No booze, no schmooze, no ice cream, no cake, no hamburger, no steak.
I woke up this morning tasting lager in my mouth, and an inexplicable desire to wolf down a medium-rare hamburger topped with crumbled Maytag blue cheese, on a toasted kaiser roll with saved red onions, fresh ripe and tasty tomatoes sliced thin and juicy, the bun smeared with a thin but substansive layer of mayonaise...
Drat.
Mayonaise. Greasy, slimy goodness. One of my favorite movies, The Whole Nine Yards, featured a scene where Bruce "I Need To Show Off My Cock" Willis ranted about the Canadian use of mayonaise as a hamburger condiment. He preferred ketchup, that vile tomato based corruption of an even more vile chinese fish sauce. Eww. Never trust a guy who prefers ketchup to mayo *and* will drop his drawers without warning.
God, I want a beer.
Posted by Ralphie at August 30, 2025 07:42 AM