On The Human Experience
Ralphie is suffering from a herniated disk that is squeezing his sciatic nerve. Also, on account of a ludricrous daily dosage of anti-imflammatories and opiates, he's drowsy, woozy, a little nauseous, and oh, still in pain.
Therfore, Ralphie is cranky.
p.s. - Magic is for losers.